In-laws

I wrote a small article this past month for Veils & Vows which has some advice from married couples. I simply ask a basic question to a few of my friends, "What makes your marriage work?" We all know that marriage is not easy. I think before you are married you have this list of things you will never do and then you get married and reality sets in and all of a sudden what you thought would never happen in marriage smacks you in the face. And then you utter the words "I didn't sign up for this." (Raise your hand if you've ever said that.) Getting back to the point, one of my dear friends that I questioned (via email) wrote back something that I found so vitally important for a healthy marriage that I can't stand not sharing.

"One thing that I realized early on in marriage.....(I think actually when we were just engaged), Was to not forget how precious your spouses parents are to them. I think this is something that each spouse should realized and honor. Keith and I feel lucky that we truly enjoy our parents and our in-laws, but it's such a good reminder to always keep that focus." -Sarah G.

Just so you know Sarah (my friend from Ohio that I met while Bart was in seminary) had about 5 paragraphs of great advice. You can check out V&V when it comes out in September if you want to read the rest.

I feel that women have a hard time always accepting their in-laws. It's hard to accept a whole new family. It's hard to see why your spouses family is as important as your own. You know what, the truth of the matter is that your spouses family is as important to them as your family is you. I have to be honest, I think I have it pretty easy. I've never struggled with my in-laws. They have loved me from the day I entered their front door but you know what, I had to choose to love them back. I have an amazing family, it's not like I needed a whole new family (as I'm sure they didn't need a sassy little blonde girl in their family ;)). But as amazing as I think my family is, Bart thinks his is just amazing. So try thinking of them differently - no longer as "your in-laws" instead as "your family" and your perspective will slowly change.

I want to challenge you today (even if you think your in-laws are awesome) to step out of your comfort zone and show them that you love them. I can promise you this, they will appreciate it and so will your spouse.

Who knows what I'll have for you next time on "Dear Beachy Keen Girl." Oh yeah, nobody ask me... ;)